Edible Moments

When it comes to looking up to your big sister, Sam is becoming a pro. Of course, he sometimes wants to strangle her, but on the whole, he adores her. He'll even let her boss him around a bit when they play together. I think he's a pretty good sport about it really. I don't think I could take her bossiness for as long as he is able. She hasn't started dressing him up in any of her clothes yet like I did to my brother at this age.

Even Santa doesn't have that much magic

Last night as I was tucking Molly into bed, she looked at me with wide eyes and announced, "I just had the best idea."

"What is that?" I asked, completely unaware of what little thoughts were running through her head at the time.

"I know what to ask Santa for next Christmas."

Great, I thought. Here we go again. She's always planning on her next present no matter how far off it is.

"I'm going to ask him to bring me a picture of my birth mother." She beamed like she had finally figured it all out.

Uh, oh. I didn't see that one coming. It took me a second to recover.

"Well, Molly" I said, "I don't think Santa can do that."

"Sure he can. He's magic, remember?" She was so sincere and positive that it was hard for me to look her in the eye. Suddenly I felt bad about the whole Santa thing.

"Well, I think Santa can only deal in toys." I was hoping that would work.

It did.

"Oh, okay." Her deflated little voice made me so sad. Extra hugs and kisses were in order.

I wish I could give her something so seemingly simple--a photograph. But even if I wanted to ever help her find her birth mother, it would be impossible. There are just too many abandoned children in China and too many Chinese birth parents who are scared to death of their government to ever step forward and admit that they abandoned a child, even if they had no choice in the first place. In fact, there was a family a couple years ago whose adopted Chinese daughter had a rare blood disease (or something like this)that could only be treated with some kind of transfusion from a birth parent or sibling, so they went to China in search of her birth family. They went to the province and city where she was found and even outside of that vacinity. They put out all kinds of bulletins and ads, officials tried to help, and the family looked diligently for quite some time. No one ever stepped forward. And when I say NO ONE, I mean absolutely NO ONE. I honestly don't know what happened to the little girl, but I hope the family found some other way to help her. I hope. And I consider myself incredibly lucky that my little girl only feels that she needs a picture of her birth mother.

Sleepovers and dry-erase taggings

"The Culprits" (Molly & Alana)
After school yesterday, I picked up my children along with two of Molly's first grade friends, Alana and Daniela. Molly had invited the girls to come over and spend the night. Daniela, not quite ready for an overnighter, would only be staying until around 7:30, but Alana, who has spent the night before, would be staying until today. So, I somehow managed to walk all four children from the school, down the sidewalk, and to my vehicle, which may not sound like a difficult task, but it sure is when all four are running in different directions, squealing at 6 & 7 year old decibals with wild abandon, and dragging half-open backpacks, scarves, lunchboxes, and school papers while busses and cars are coming and going from the school parking lot. I'd like to say that I took control of the situation, put the kids in single file, and marched them to the car, but no, it was as chaotic as you can possibly imagine. Of course, I understand why they were so wound up and excited. What's more fun than bringing home your friends after school at the end of the week?

Oh, wait, I know, being the little boy whose sister is the one bringing home the cute, little friends, that's what! Sam was just as thrilled and who can blame him? Wait until he's 12 and his sister is bringing home her 14-year-old girlfriends, or as she already calls them...her "BFFs."

Of course Molly wouldn't put up with Sam's presence for long, but once the excitement wore off and Sam realized that he would get to sleep in mom and dad's room for the night, he didn't mind letting the girls alone. Besides, even HE doesn't want to listen to Molly's wailing and screaming. He was glad to leave the room when she started.

The girls played well and had a good time. After Daniela left, Alana and Molly settled down a bit, but still couldn't quite fall asleep. I could hear giggling in the bedroom for far too long. And of course, I had to keep getting up and telling them to get to sleep. At some point, Michael and Sam were asleep, and I may have been too, I heard them crawl into our room giggling. I'm not sure how long they were there, but I sent them back to Molly's room. I thought they were just being silly at the time, but I discovered this morning what they were really up to.

When Sam woke up, he came over to my bed pointing at his arm. I was half asleep and he was holding his arm in my face. He had a big, black smiley face on his forearm. I looked at it and asked him if he had done it to himself. He said no. That's when I looked up at his face.

Let's just say he looked like a psychedelic zebra. I guess the girls had visited last night with black & green markers and "decorated" poor Sam in his sleep. It's the seven-year-old equivalent to peanut butter and a feather I guess. Luckily, Sam thought it was hilarious when I showed him his face. He didn't think it was quite as funny when I started trying to scrub it off, though.

You could tell that only one of the girls was almost completely responsible for Sammy's tagging--the one with the black marker. When Molly and Alana woke up and came downstairs, Molly announced her role in Sammy's face-art. I asked them which colors each had used. Of course Alana had the green marker, with only a few marks here and there. Molly, with the black one, hadn't just completely hatch-marked his entire face, she had scribbled all down his neck and even in one of his ears (which I haven't been able to totally clean). Oh, and don't forget the smiley face on his arm. I can't believe he slept through that AND their giggling.

Anyway, Molly will be doing Sam's portion of cleaning in their bedroom this evening. It was difficult for me not to just laugh out loud about the whole thing. I have to admit, it was pretty funny. I couldn't find my camera in order to take a picture, but believe me, as marked up as you can possibly imagine him, that's how he looked and maybe even worse.

My favorite part of the story is that when Molly announced what she had done to Sam, she then turned to me very proudly and said..."Oh, I used dry erase markers, not the permanent ones. I figured you'd prefer that" (and yes, she used those words).

Gosh, thanks Molly.

It's been a while

Well, we're still managing here. Molly is 7 1/2 now--complete with missing front tooth--ridiculously overdramatic, and just as bossy, but with a larger vocabulary and a few new manipulative techniques. Sam will be 6 in May and is just a complete jokester. I find his humor completely hilarious--his facial expressions alone (see picture) are priceless.

People still want to know if Sam is talking and the unfortunate answer to that is 'no,' not anymore than before. Now and then he will surprise us with an approximation of a word that sounds close to correct, but overall, his typical vocabulary consists of no, mama, dat (dad), a strange sounding "yeah" and mostly just vowel sounds that are sometimes close to words. He will read books to us--pointing to words and creating word-like noises--he does this on the telephone, too. He has become very excited about writing and reading recently. I think he realizes that this will be a means of better communication for him. He is just beginning to write his letters and a couple words, but he seems to be picking things up quickly. He also can maneuver around a computer much better than many adults--including Michael. I'm currently looking into getting him an augmentative communication device so that he can start communicating, but they are extremely expensive and with the trouble we've been having with insurance I doubt we'll have much luck with funding. He's becoming frustrated more and more when we don't understand him. In fact, he's started trying to draw pictures when he is mad at me. He'll draw a picture of me and point to me and say "ooo" (you) and then scribble over it to prove to me that I am the source of his anger. Honestly, in Sam's world, we are the ones with the communication issues, not him. He's communicating just fine--we're the one's who are too inane to comprehend him.

We recently discovered that much of Molly's writing issues and trouble with comprehension and focusing have to do with her eyes, NOT ADHD as first thought. She has 20/20 vision, but her eyes are not tracking together. She has a biocular disorder which can actually be corrected with therapy. That too, of course, will NOT be covered by insurance. Tell me again why we're paying all this money for health insurance because I'm having a really hard time remembering. We took Sam to the same Vision specialist and he too has some major tracking problems, but we are going to wait a while before having him more fully tested since he can't really communicate well enough for the doctor to make a full and accurate diagnosis.

Anyway, come to find out, there are quite a few disorders and problems that have similar symptoms as ADHD, but for some reason pediatricians don't seem to be privy to them. Visual disorders are one of them as well as sensory integration disorders. Of course, Molly and Sam have both. It has taken me a while to get all of this figured out, and unfortunately, we still have quite a way to go with Sam's speech issue, but I feel a lot better about helping them both at this point. Neither will be taking any ADHD medicine as was originally suggested. I'm fully confident that we can rule out that diagnosis now.

Michael and I are becoming a bit worn out with all the therapy sessions the kids attend after school (OT, speech, play/art therapies), but we both feel that they are necessary. We've seen some really wonderful changes in both children, particularly in their behaviors and their fine motor skills. So, as of now, we are bypassing gymnastics, soccer, music lessons and the like in which typical children are enrolled. We just want to ensure that Molly and Sam have their basic needs met. Our next step is to have Sam tested for neurological issues. This is the one thing we haven't looked into. Oddly enough, it has never been suggested. I just happened to read a book that Craig gave me recently (Schuyler's Monster by Robert Rummel-Hudson) in which a father tells the story of his non-verbal daughter and all the testing and hardships his family has been through in order to help her succeed. As I was reading I was struck by how much Sammy sounds like this little girl. I also can completely relate to all the frustration and time and expense it takes to work with and advocate for special needs children. I just want an answer to Sam's inability to speak. I may not like that answer very much in the end, but I think I'm in a position now to be able to handle a not-so-ideal answer.

Molly found an old prom dress in my closet and asked me to take pictures of her in it. These were my favorites.

Sammy Time

Sammy continues to make progress every day. He has added a few words to his vocabulary. In the mornings he enters my room, pulls back the covers and states, "Out, Now! (Except that it comes out like "Ow, now." Hard consonants don't really exist for him. He's quite demanding. Currently, he's taking swim lessons and is still going to speech. Anything that seems too difficult for him, he just won't even try it. Luckily, he's just as sweet as he is stubborn. He spent the last several weekends helping me plant my garden. He's a great, little helper.

Summer Time

Molly competed in her 1st swim meet on Monday, June 8 at Woodhaven. She came in 2nd in her heat. We were quite proud of her. She smiled the entire time she swam the 25 yards. After she climbed out of the water, she wanted to know why she couldn't swim more races. She went up to her coaches later and asked if they could put her in more races next time because she still had more "energy to get out."